10 Reasons Why Santa Claus Must Be a Woman

Vol. 12 •Issue 24 • Page 13
The Lighter Side

10 Reasons Why Santa Claus Must Be a Woman

The Christmas season is upon us. Santa Claus will soon be coming to your town. Did you know that Santa Claus is universal? Santa brings many cultures of the world together. Countless legends are told about this Patron Saint of Giving known as St. Nick.

In the Greek culture he is known as Hagios Nikolaos. His gift-giving role spread throughout Europe, and gifts were distributed during the celebration of St. Nicholas. Puerto Rican children receive gifts from the Three Kings during the celebration of Epiphany. In Italy, Babbo Natale or Father Christmas is the legend and spirit of the season. In China he is called Shengdan Laoren. In France he is Pere Noel and in Germany children receive presents from Christindl. In Finland he is called Joulupukki and in the Netherlands he is Kerstman.

In the United States and Canada we know him as the merry old man from the North Pole, Santa Claus. Santa magically drives his sled pulled by eight flying reindeer delivering gifts on Christmas Eve.

But, what if this was all wrong? What if Santa or Father Christmas is not a “he” but a “she”? After all, do you really think a man is capable of whipping up the joyous occasion of Christmas? I think not! What man do you know who pays attention to tradition and holiday pageantry? After years of research I have come to the conclusion that Santa must be a woman.

Top Ten Reasons Why Santa Claus Must Be a Woman

10. Men can’t pack a bag.

9. Men don’t answer their mail.

8. What man would wear a red velvet suit trimmed in white fur with matching gloves and hat?

7. A man would name his reindeer Duke or Buddy not Cupid and Prancer.

6. If Santa were a man he would get lost delivering all the gifts to the children of the world. Men don’t stop and ask for directions.

5. Only a woman would agree to spend every day after Thanksgiving in the mall.

4. Most men don’t even think about gifts until December 24th.

3. Only a woman would appreciate home-baked cookies and milk. If Santa were a man, children would set out beer and potato chips.

2. Only a woman would quietly slide down a chimney in order to leave colorfully wrapped presents. A man would burst through the front door and ask what’s for dinner.

And the last reason why Santa Claus must be a woman…

1. Christmas comes the same day every year. Men can’t commit.

To each of you, I wish a very safe and peaceful holiday season. See you next year.

Cyndi Thomas is the national sales director for Comforce Staffing Services Coding Division. She can be reached at [email protected].