Interactions are integral to the death care industry, often occurring when individuals are at their most vulnerable. During this period of high emotion, the role of the funeral professional is indispensable in ensuring communication remains compassionate and respectful. Ethical guidelines support the process, providing a clear understanding of ethics in funeral services when navigating difficult conversations.
Related: Communicating with Difficult People
Ethics in funeral services
The death care industry uniquely balances compassion and business. A code of ethics in funeral services assists workers in honoring the deceased and their families with integrity and transparency while adhering to set standards.
The practice of ethics uses four subcategories, each offering a different approach and perspective for understanding and evaluating moral principles and behavior.
- Descriptive ethics studies and analyzes the attitudes and values of individuals and groups.
- Meta-ethics focuses on the meaning of moral values and the connection between why and how people behave.
- Applied ethics explores real-life situations and the application of ethics within them. It examines potential moral dilemmas and concentrates on professional settings, such as healthcare and the deathcare industry.
- Normative ethics encompasses the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It is also a fundamental principle in funeral ethics, as it provides the framework for establishing standards and guidelines for what constitutes “right” behavior within the funeral setting.
The International Order of the Golden Rule (OGR)
In 1928, a group of funeral directors established the International Order of the Golden Rule (OGR) as a fundamental principle of funeral services. The professional association is specifically for independently owned funeral homes. It uses the philosophy “Service measured not by gold but by the Golden Rule: to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (The Order of the Golden Rule)
Eleven business standards establish an ethical framework for providing a professional, caring service. The Order integrates all actions taken by funeral homes dedicated to delivering outstanding service.
Staff need to be accountable for their actions and ensure they align with the standards they uphold. This heightened awareness is paramount when handling intricate conversations.
Navigating difficult conversations in funeral services
“Funeral services, like other unwanted services, put consumers in a vulnerable position, due to their inexperience, sense of urgency, and, most importantly, emotional distress.” (Research Gate, October 2021) Emotional turmoil and vulnerability can create misunderstandings, and when communication falters, it may result in fraught discussions.
Engaging in difficult conversations with dying people or grieving families is unavoidably part of the job in the funeral field. Topics covered include financial costs, legal requirements, and funeral service preferences. These sensitive topics can provoke family conflicts, so it is crucial to understand strategies for managing these challenging times.
The three C’s of effective communication
When tensions arise in demanding situations, funeral professionals can turn to the three Cs—clarity, conciseness, and consistency—to aid in effective communication.
Clarity
Clear communication is essential for mourners to register the information provided. Explaining options in simple terms and using easy-to-understand vocabulary avoids misinterpretation and confusion, which in turn helps build trust. Having confidence in the funeral professional can ease anxiety, allowing families to grieve and focus on their loved ones.
The FAMIC Study revealed that “In 2015, 69 percent of adults over the age of 40 indicated they would prefer to pre-arrange their own service; however, only 17 percent had made arrangements.” (Funeral and Memorial Information Council)
Delaying funeral plans until after a death in later life results in higher numbers of elderly making complex arrangements. Some individuals may have impairments, so clarity is crucial to avoid complications and causing undue stress and confusion.
Conciseness
Conciseness gets straight to the point and avoids using repetition and unnecessary words. Individuals coping with grief may find it difficult to concentrate, process details, and make decisions.
Funeral directors can make the process more accessible for people with disabilities and impairments by using straightforward language and minimizing repetition.
Consistency
Providing consistent and reliable information to individuals and a broader audience builds a positive reputation. Communities may feel assured when they turn to their local funeral home for comfort and support, entrusting the director and staff to care for their deceased with integrity and respect.
Other strategies for managing difficult conversations
Funeral professionals must approach difficult conversations thoughtfully. Strategies to help manage a challenging situation involve:
Prepare the environment
Prepare the environment by creating a comfortable, private space for funeral arrangements. If mourners feel safe, they will find it easier to discuss their needs and express their emotions.
Active listening
Effective communication depends on active listening. While people often listen to the words, they do not actively listen, digest, and understand what is said. Active listening allows for better comprehension of the situation. Listen without interruption to families and loved ones as they express their wishes and concerns. This will help them feel valued and build rapport.
Show empathy and patience
Showing empathy for the grieving validates their emotions. It makes them feel valued, eases anxiety, building confidence in the funeral director. Patience when making explanations and taking time to make arrangements can also lessen confusion.
Remain neutral
Difficult conversations may lead to family conflicts, especially if they involve estrangement or cultural differences. Stay impartial and focused on honoring the deceased’s wishes.
Provide information
Providing information about bereavement services and what happens after the funeral service will help individuals feel secure and not abandoned in their grief once the memorial is over.
Advanced funeral planning
Difficult conversations may start at any stage of funeral planning, even before someone dies. There is a growing trend of people opting for advanced funeral planning, also known as preneed arrangements. They see it as a more cost-effective alternative to writing wills, giving them peace of mind and ridding their loved ones of the burden.
In contrast, others find death too challenging to discuss or believe it too distant to worry about, thinking they have plenty of time to prepare.
When the time arrives, planning a funeral can be overwhelming. Some may have already had tough discussions with healthcare professionals about their diagnoses. There is also a degree of mistrust surrounding greedy funeral trusts and insurance providers. As a result, consumers may be cautious about parting with money.
Building trust is crucial for reassuring potential clients and is at the core of ethics in funeral services when navigating difficult conversations.
